Some people think that watching television is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Write an essay justifying your choice.

#people #television #waste #time #choice

There is an argument that society who watch TV sets spend part of their day simply doing nothing interesting, only using their life to see some trash programs. I partially agree with

such

a point of view, because even though

television

entertainment is remarkable for relaxing and having a pleasant moment with family, it can make the public waste their spare

time

with subjects that do not bring important information to life. First of all, it is essential for the public to take

time

to devote to improving their mental health, and watching

television

is an interesting choice for doing it, because it can stimulate a relaxing sensation,

consequently

, people can have good moments to spend

together with

their loved ones or even alone.

For example

, it is estimated that 40% of the population in Latin America watches traditional productions with family on weekends,

due to

a family tradition.

In addition

to that, it can make a weekend routine for joining all the family in front of the device,

therefore

, it can reduce youngsters going out with their friends.

Furthermore

, the population can consume news that most of the occasion waste precious

time

with useless subjects, causing disinformation and feeling of panic,

due to

the fact that

television

information is not reliable at all.

For instance

, it is known that in Brazil most people waste too many hours watching popular shows because it is about the local culture.

Moreover

, when the population receive news about everything

that is

happening in the community or in the world, normally they feel terrified,

consequently

, they can develop mental diseases. All things considered, I do believe that TV programs can be an interesting choice to devote

time

to having an unforgettable moment with family members and having pleasant hours by yourself as well, despite watching

television

is a way to join all the family and turn the moment in a special occasion. Ideally, not only should people need to consume programs that provide reliable information, but

also

have news quality.

Submitted by aracellyfontes on Wed Oct 11 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses the topic, but certain points could be developed more fully to strengthen the argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more variety in sentence transitions and clearer logical connectors between ideas for improved readability.

task response

While you provided some examples, they are somewhat vague and could be more specific and directly related to the claims you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

336 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

waste of time
educational
informative
entertaining
mindless
addictive
enriching
relaxing
source of news
passive viewing
critical thinking

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