Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

The protection of

wildlife

has become a frequent subject of debate with strong arguments for and against. Personally, I believe that humans are paying too much attention and allocating too many resources to

this

issue, as will now be explained.

Firstly

, if we allow any species to disappear,

this

is actually not a disaster. Some people may argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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biology will be seriously affected if birds and wild

animals

are on the verge of extinction, but

this

is an exaggeration. Fossil evidence suggests that the mass disappearance of the dinosaur did not cause any harm to other species on the Earth but merely triggered the emergence of others

such

as the mammal.

Therefore

, we should not devote too much attention to the protection of

wildlife

Secondly

, public money is limited.

This

means that the national budget should be allocated to more urgent issues rather than expending too much

Change preposition

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the conservation of wild

animals

and birds.

For example

, more resources should be diverted to medical research to find

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

remedies for fatal diseases

such

as HIV and cancer, which may help to save thousands of lives in society.

Finally

, the government can simply protect

wildlife

by continuing campaigns to raise public awareness of the protection of

wildlife

habitats

Remove the comma

apply

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or impose stricter punishments on activities that may harm wild

animals

. Any individual who hunts

wildlife

for food or for pleasure should be given a heavy fine, and

this

may discourage them from threatening the

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

of wild

animals

. In conclusion,

while

I do not refute the argument for the conservation of

wildlife

, I believe that it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.

Submitted by ntson1307 on Wed Nov 13 2019

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task response

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, some of the arguments lack depth and detail. Try to provide more comprehensive and detailed ideas in order to fully address the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay shows a logical progression of ideas, but some parts could be better connected. Try using more cohesive devices to better link your ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

276 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It has been argued that we are living in a throw-away society in which people throw away what they use in daily life, instead of recycling or reusing it. Why has this happened and how can we address this problem?

An E-mail has had a huge impact on professional and social communication, but this impact has been negative as well as positive. Do the disadvantages of using e-mail outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.