In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

The contradictory concern of the appropriate
age
to commence formal education is widely debated. On the one hand, it is argued that youngsters ought to start school at the
age
of four.
In contrast
, some individuals believe that they should begin later until they are seven or eight. From my perspective, I firmly agree with the second opinion that it is more beneficial for
children
to attend school at a later
age
. I will shed light on my viewpoint in
this
essay.
Initially
, it is tangible that
children
require a suitable timescale to develop their physical, and mental health and multiply essential soft
skills
such
as
:
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cognitive
skills
, and self-awareness
skills
. The result of
this
trend is that youngsters should grab the attention of their parents to enrich their basic abilities.
In particular
, young adults ought to be taught about daily behavior
such
as greeting everyone and talking politely. These
skills
play an integral role in their early life in order to support them in becoming well-educated citizens.
Secondly
, toddlers should be taught to interact more with natural species and objects around them in order that they are able to learn valuable and realistic lessons rather than academic ones. The reason for
this
trend is that affluent experiences that the youth obtain in daily life undoubtedly support them in broadening their minds to new horizons. Especially, overcoming mistakes is a crucial tip to assist adolescents in improving their problem-solving
skills
since they teach kids to individually tackle their own challenges and utilize their capability to surpass obstacles. Another factor to discuss is that delving into academic disciplines at an early
age
is inappropriate. The first reason for
this
circumstance is that it is essential for toddlers to enjoy a memorable and bright childhood. The clear explanation for
this
viewpoint is that childhood is the most honest, optimistic period in the entire life of every dweller.
Therefore
, parents should utilize
this
moment to educate their
children
about various values related to self-discipline, self-determination, and self-awareness.
Moreover
, attitude is more important than aptitude, so the older generation must concentrate on
this
issue in order to train the kids perfectly.
Last
but not least, competing with peers in academic scores at an early
age
is inappropriate for the younger generation without hesitation.
Additionally
, letting
children
delve into keeping up with their friends will cause them to
enroll
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enrol
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in
a
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competition and challenge, which is detrimental to the development of mental health for them, and
also
creates a stressful environment at school.
As a consequence
, toddlers cannot grow up naturally. More severely, they would consider schools as a nightmare owing to the pressure there.
Finally
, regarding to aforementioned viewpoints, I strongly believe that young adolescents can attend schools when they are older than seven in terms of creating a meaningful childhood and educating soft
skills
.
Besides
that, mature citizens have to emphasize teaching their
children
about well-informed
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
and experiences.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. It is beneficial to have a clear opinion and restate this in the conclusion to strengthen the position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points are well-developed and clearly linked to the thesis statement in the introduction. Use transition words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide clear, relevant examples to support your points. These examples make your essay more convincing and allow the reader to understand your views better.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring a balanced discussion of the ideas presented in the prompt. Your essay should reflect a full understanding of the topic and include a conclusion that summarises your main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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