The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions.

The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions.
The given table illustrates the count (in millions) of
people
who’s
Unnecessary verb
who
show examples
visited to watch four different genres of
movies
at the cinemas in four different counties.
Firstly
, much more
people
preferred to watch
action
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
movies
.
Romance
type was
the
Change the word
their
show examples
second
choice by them.
However
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the two types
were become
Change to the active voice
became
have become
show examples
famous
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
less than 20 million
people
.
Secondly
, movie lovers from India showed
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
interest in
action
movies
,
whereas
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
showed
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
interest to attend
romance
movies
.
Similarly
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
from Ireland get enjoyed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action
films. The least number of
people
such
as 3.8 million decided to watch
romance
movies
.
Moreover
,
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number of individuals from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand and Japan were
also
interested in watching
action genre
Add a hyphen
action-genre
show examples
movies
.
However
, the count of
romance
Replace the word
romantic
show examples
movie lovers was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
for both these countries.
People
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand interested in horror
movies
were almost half
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct quantifier usage
number of Japanase
show examples
Japanase
Correct your spelling
Japanese
. In conclusion, much more individuals were interested to watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
horror
movies
.
However
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the population
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
choosed
Correct your spelling
choose
other
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
movies
as
source
Add an article
a source
show examples
of enjoyment including
romance
, comedy and horror.
Submitted by innocentkiran990 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, movies, action, romance with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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