Should mobile phones be banned in primary schools?

#phones #schools

Mobile phone

Suggestion

The mobile phone

is a version of

technology which

Suggestion

the technology, which

the technology which

its purpose is to connect people around the world. Now, children are allowed to use mobile phone every time and everywhere even in schools.

Although

mobile phones have many effectively functions for different purposes, I think they should be forbidden in primary schools because of two main reasons.

First

of all, mobile phones have an effect on children’s development and health. If children overuse them too much, they can harm children’s eyes.

In addition

, the radiation is not good for health and

brain especially

Accept comma addition

brain, especially

first

5 years old.

Consequently

, the rate of short-sighted

increasingly develop

Suggestion

increasingly develops

and it happens in younger people.

Second

, mobile phones can impact on children’s schoolwork. They neglect studying because of playing games or chatting with friends.

As a result

, if they can’t concentrate the lessons, they will get behind their classmates.

Third

, mobile phones may impair children’s limited communication. If they fasten their eyes on mobile phone regularly, they can’t learn how to talk and share emotion or their point to others.

Consequently

, they can get autism and talking ability won’t be fast and fluent when they grow up. To sum up, mobile phones are not

bad but

Accept comma addition

bad, but

wrong way of using can cause consequences for children’s health and development especially they are in schools. So parents should forbid children when they study in schools or even at home.

Instead

, children should be

talked

Suggestion

talking

more, do outdoor activities after studying to guarantee children’s comprehensive development.

Mon Feb 10 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

247 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Should mobile phones be banned in primary schools?

Fully explain your ideas

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

“ Some people believe that everyone has aright to have access top university education and that government should make it free for all student no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree.”

Unemployment is one of the biggest problems of contemporary society. What do you think are the main causes of unemployment? What solutions can you suggest?