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Band 6.5

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures
Owning a home is a dream shared by many, but
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 not everyone has the means to make
this
 aspiration a reality. Across the globe, we witness
individuals
 who reside in parks, sleep on benches day and night, or construct makeshift shelters from boxes
due to
 their lack of permanent housing.
While
 some argue that poverty is often the underlying issue behind
homelessness
, others contend that state policies may
also
 contribute to
this
 problem.
In addition
 to poverty, state policies can
also
 play a role in contributing to
homelessness
.
For example
, some cities have laws that criminalize sleeping in public areas or panhandling, leaving
individuals
 with no other options for survival.
Additionally
, affordable housing programs may not be easily accessible or available in certain areas, making it difficult for those who are struggling financially to secure a stable living situation.
Furthermore
, mental illness and addiction can
also
 contribute to
homelessness
. Without proper access to healthcare and support services,
individuals
 may find themselves unable to maintain employment or relationships, leading to a cycle of instability and eventually
homelessness
. It is important for society as a whole to address the issue of
homelessness
 and work towards solutions that provide support and resources for those who are struggling.
This
 includes initiatives
such
 as affordable housing programs, mental health services, job training programs, and education on how to effectively combat poverty. Only through collective efforts can we hope to reduce
homelessness
 and give
individuals
 the opportunity to achieve their dreams of owning a home. In conclusion, reducing
homelessness
 requires collective efforts from society as a whole. Through these initiatives, we can give
individuals
 the opportunity they need to achieve their dreams of owning a home and building a successful life.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, it's important to deepen your main body paragraphs with stronger topic sentences and clearer progression of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure a more comprehensive range of ideas by expanding on the ones presented and demonstrating complexity in your argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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