Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays, a wide range of subjects are taught at
school
. However
, some people think practical lessons, such
as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork in
which Change preposition
apply
students
can learn at home, should be deleted from the lesson schedule. Personally, I do not agree with this
stance, and the following content will list the reasons.
Several students
could not learn certain skills from their family members. For example
, because of the busy lifestyle, more families prefer to eat out rather than cook by themselves. Therefore
, children in this
type of family have no chance of learning cooking
. Change the verb form
to cook
Similarly
, whose
parents are not good at knitting clothes, gardening and wood chopping, so their kids need to learn these skills at Correct pronoun usage
apply
school
. In addition
, it will have more fun while
learning with other teenagers and sharing their success.
As for the families which are master
in these skills, Fix the agreement mistake
masters
students
can learn different techniques with their friends in
Change preposition
on
the
campus. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, there are several methods to make a bread
and each way can make delicious and different Remove the article
bread
a loaf of bread
a piece of bread
a slice of bread
type
of bread. Fix the agreement mistake
types
Nevertheless
, while
baking a bread
at home, Remove the article
bread
a loaf of bread
a piece of bread
a slice of bread
due to
the limitation of the equipment, children might only know a few types of pastry. In contrast
, school
usually have more space and utensils which makes Fix the agreement mistake
schools
students
can
learn more types and knowledge of the bakery.
In conclusion, practical lessons at Verb problem
apply
school
can provide a chance for every student to learn the knowledge which is not taught by their families. In my opinion, we should not derive these skillful
classes from the lesson schedule.Change the spelling
skilful
Submitted by chaoweikevin on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure, starting with an introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs that elaborate on your main points, and ending with a conclusion that summarises your stance. The main points in your essay were somewhat repetitive and could be more distinct from each other. Try to develop them further for clarity.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the question and presented a clear position throughout the response. However, develop your main ideas further and include more specific examples to support your argument. Additionally, make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded and not repeated across paragraphs.