Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1,000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos. (Adapted from --DELETED LINK-- children-want-YouTubers-vloggers.html) It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #doctors #nurses #today’s #youtubers #vloggers #survey #six #three #quarters #they’d #career #videos #link-- #children-want-youtubers-vloggers #html #kids #youtube #sensation

According to

a survey conducted by

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

thousand children between the ages of six and seventeen, more than

three quarters

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three-quarters

show examples

of them say they considered online videos

creator

Replace the word

creation

show examples

as their desired career. There are a lot of assumptions that it is hazardous for kids to dream of becoming a

YouTube

phenomenon. To a certain

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

I agree with

this

assumption and I will discuss more in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

is incredibly famous, coming in second place for the most widely used search engine worldwide. That leads to its billions of

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

per day and the profit it brings to the creators can be seen evidently.

However

this

platform

also

has its own limitations.

Firstly

, the

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

people can get from it is unstable. Maybe one day you post an interesting video on

Youtube

and you gain a huge number of views and your

subcribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

rise dramatically. But after that, you cannot keep up your form and you earn no profit at all. Online networks are consistently changing

everyday

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every day

show examples

, and the failure of any social media network may be quicker than expected.

Secondly

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

has put a lot of policies in place

since

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that have a huge impact on small creators. People with

the

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apply

show examples

subcribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

under 100000 can not gain any money.

On the other hand

, it is no different between a kid who wants to be an athlete, a musician, or an actress and a kid

Correct pronoun usage

who aspire

show examples

aspire

Correct subject-verb agreement

aspires

show examples

to become a

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

sensation. Everybody can play soccer,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

sing,

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apply

show examples

act, or film themselves and post it online. Doing all of these things for a living thing,

however

, requires hard work and creativity. But if it is the kid’s passion and he

decide

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decides

show examples

to chase it seriously, he deserves a plus point. In conclusion, I assume that children have all the

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

to choose their dream job but they should consider the limitations of becoming

Change the article

show examples

online video creator.

Submitted by hienlinh709 on Fri Apr 10 2020

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

323 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In order to study at universities students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all of the students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Recent technological developments have greatly changed our ways of life in a positive way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that social media sities such as facebook or twitter have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships others believe these sities are benefical

nowadys celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this set a bad example to young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?