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Band 7.5

nowadys celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this set a bad example to young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#nowadys #celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #people
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with social media becoming more popular, the public focus on the money and social status of celebrities rather than their achievements. it is widely believed that it would set a bad model for teenagers. I am inclined with
this
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 statement.
to begin
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 with, one of the main arguments in its favour is that it makes bad behaviour for teenagers only empathizing with the success of superstars. there is a growing tendency that some superstars nowadays either show off their belongings
such
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 as taking photos with their supercars or showing how vast their houses are, which is known as Shaq O'neal.
however
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, young adults seldom realize the fact that how can these well-known people become successful. most teenagers possibly ignored the struggle period of these people before they are successful. they spent their time and spirits on their businesses to get these achievements.
for instance
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, one of my friends, Kevin, always tells me how rich those superstars are and he is keen on being as wealthy as them.
by contrast
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, he doesn't do anything to pursue his dream, he just lives in sedentary lifestyle and plays computer for a whole day. these indicate that people's focus on the wealth of celebrities indeed brings some negative effects. apart from
this
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, there are some actresses which become wealthy by married businessmen. some young adults would imitate terrible behaviours to get a better social status. it is extensively convinced that these kinds of behaviours could set a bad model for youngsters. to sum up, young adults empathising with celebrities' social status truly brings a detrimental impact on them, while they can learn about their spirits of hard-working.
Submitted by alan900325 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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