Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
One of the social concerns today relates to
people
’s dependence. While
it is widely believed that in the modern world
we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that Add a comma
world,
people
have been
more independent. In my opinion, Verb problem
become
human
aren’t dependent on each other these day
On the one hand, it is believed that Fix the agreement mistake
humans
people
are more dependent on each other. Firstly
, human
tend to associate with Fix the agreement mistake
humans
things
that they usually interact with. A particularly good example here is children who have parents that
serve all the Correct pronoun usage
who
things
in their life will be more dependent than the one
who don’t. Correct pronoun usage
ones
Secondly
, several people
living
with a mindset of wanting everything ready-made. These Wrong verb form
live
people
are too lazy to live by
their own or to Change preposition
on
things
by themselves.
Add a missing verb
do things
On the other hand
, it is strongly suggested by others that people
nowadays have become more independent. People
often have this
opinion because we are living in a 4.0 decade which provide
an amount of solutions for daily life. The explosion of modern technology has brought us an easier way to solve Change the verb form
provides
things
. For example
, people
can conveniently transfer money and pay bills at home thanks for
the development of Change preposition
to
internet
banking.
In conclusion, it is commonly thought that dependent life is chosen by Capitalize word
Internet
people
nowadays, meanwhile, others assume that we are progressively live
more Wrong verb form
living
independent
. Personally, Change the word
independently
i
tend to believe that the world Change the capitalization
I
are
Change the verb form
is
become
more and more independent.Wrong verb form
becoming
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task achievement
Expand the introduction by giving a brief background and stating the two opposing views clearly before presenting your own opinion. Make sure your conclusion restates your opinion and summarizes the main points of the essay effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Avoid overly simple sentences and strive to show complexity in your ideas and their potential implications for society.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next, with each having a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Use cohesive devices effectively but avoid overusing them.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there's a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a clear conclusion that reaffirms this thesis, providing a consistent thread through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with evidence or examples. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that provide depth to your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
