the line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.

the line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.
The line graph illustrates the
consumption
of fish and meat consumed by the residents
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a European nation between 1979 and 2004.
Overall
,
chicken
increased in popularity of
consumption
while
other sectors reduced over the period. The unit is measured in
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
per person per week. In detail, in 1979, roughly 220
grams
were
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beef
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
and accounted for the most popular meat compared to that of others.
Moreover
, about halved of that number
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed
chicken
and lamb (150
grams
). People Consumed fish only 60
grams
in the initial year. In the following decade, beef
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
fluctuated over the period
while
decreasing in lamb and
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
in
chicken
. After the year 1989, inhabitants preferred
chicken
in their
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
and it surged to about 250
grams
in 2004.
However
, beef and lamb
consumption
reduced remarkably to about 120
grams
and 70
grams
consecutively.
However
, the popularity of fish
consumption
remained almost constant throughout the period.
Submitted by fernnizz.r on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, chicken, grams with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • meat
  • increase
  • decrease
  • popularity
  • steady
  • stable
  • significant
  • period
  • type
  • contrast
  • decline
  • greatest
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