IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #laptop #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A laptop is an essential device for the 21st century, and all high school
students
Use synonyms
 should own one without any cost.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because a free laptop is important for a pupil to attend online classes, and conduct independent
research
Use synonyms
. As technology is advancing at a rapid pace in today’s world, many classes are being held virtually, and access to a proper device is compulsory for
students
Use synonyms
 to catch up with the lessons. Online education provides great benefits to learners because they can study at their own pace regardless of any circumstances or where they are situated.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic, education was shifted virtually, and
students
Use synonyms
 were required to attend school online from the comfort of their own homes, to reduce the risk of infections.
In addition
Linking Words
, access to laptops gives learners the ability to perform their own
research
Use synonyms
 to expand upon their existing knowledge. Academy often assigns tasks for
students
Use synonyms
 to complete to gain credits for their grades, and most assignments require deep
research
Use synonyms
 and exploration. Independent
research
Use synonyms
 immensely helps
students
Use synonyms
 to widen their understanding and to think critically and logically with thorough reasoning.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study found that 80% of
students
Use synonyms
 who use Google for
research
Use synonyms
 purposes tend to have a broader understanding of particular topics than those who don't. In conclusion, freshmen in high school ought to be gifted a computer because it is crucial for attending virtual courses and developing a better comprehension of certain topics through the conduction of
research
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by oddomneathp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequence of ideas within and across paragraphs to heighten understanding and readability. Consider enhancing your paragraphing technique with clearer topic sentences and well-developed supporting sentences for each main point.
task achievement
While your essay presents a clear response to the task, it could be improved by providing more detailed examples and evidence to underpin the arguments. Also, make sure to fully address all parts of the task provided, including any opposing viewpoints, to demonstrate a balanced analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: