IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#globalization
Today's society has been the result of worldwide
globalization
. There are several aspects that can be considered either positive or negative of
such
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
 phenomenon.
This
 essay will analyse both views
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and will develop in detail why I believe
this
 has far more benefits than disadvantages to the modern world. Undoubtedly,
globalization
 has brought to our lives many positive aspects.
First,
while
 some believe
this
 is not the right path to follow, others feel that continuing at the same pace would take us to a higher society standard
due to
 economic merges, which eventually, could create a powerful collaboration network among nations.
For example
, the G8, a well-known group of the most powerful nations around the world, got together to discuss crucial matters to thrive.
Moreover
, is not only about
wealthiness
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
, but it
also
 gives humanity the chance to share the most valued aspects of their culture. There are several scenarios where, as a society, sharing is an essential part
to raise
Change preposition
of raising
show examples
 awareness of each tradition
such
 as sports events or concerts.
Overall
, blurring lines among
this
 human behaviour is even more relevant now than decades ago.
On the other hand
, even though, there are several benefits in regard to
globalization
, there are still many drawbacks.
While
 outsourcing is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poorer
countries
, they may lose their resources
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
 and
cheap
Change the word
cheaply
show examples
.
For instance
, they may use their underground resources to produce materials at a very low price.
In addition
, big corporations may exploit cheap workers without considering their rights.
Moreover
, migration from poor
countries
 to the rich one lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of qualified and experienced worker in the origin
countries
. In conclusion,
however
,
globalization
 is beneficial and disadvantageous for all
countries
 and people, in my opinion, the merits far outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by carlosandres184 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the topic, and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, including presenting a clear opinion and providing evidence to support it. Make sure to develop your ideas fully.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: