Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.
Nowadayd
it is commonly claimed that firms should be able to cumulate Correct your spelling
Nowadays
information
about their clients, as it simplify
Change the verb form
simplifies
customer
service. However
, some argue that this
should be forbidden, because it may endanger a client
's personal data
.
On the one
hand, only by collecting information
about a customer
can a company make their services easier. Firstly
, were a firm to save data
from a first collaboration with a person, next time the information
processing part wouldn't be necessary. This
undoubtedly would make a
cooperation simpler for both a corporation and a user. Remove the article
apply
Also
, saved information
might be subsequently
used in terms of choosing a specific product that a certain client
is usually interested in. For example
, H&M, one
of the most popular clouthing
Correct your spelling
clothing
shop
in the world, collects Fix the agreement mistake
shops
a
Correct article usage
apply
data
regarding a
size of clothes often Correct article usage
the
prefered
by a Correct your spelling
preferred
customer
, so that it suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
this
category during a
following shopping.
Correct article usage
the
However
, some argue that despite these positive aspects, possesion
of Correct your spelling
possession
one
's private data
may endanger it. In other words
, usually
firms use Add a comma
usually,
this
information
for their marketing research, not necessarly
for the good of their Correct your spelling
necessarily
necessary
client
. For
this
reason
they often share Add a comma
reason,
this
data
with other companies or people working for them. The evidence for this
was provided in a recent survey published by the US National Customer
Service Organization which indicates that hardly never
the Correct your spelling
ever
data
regarding a client's
Change noun form
client
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
reamin
among a single company. Under Correct your spelling
remain
thes
circumstances, personal Correct your spelling
these
information
about an individual might be in time used by someone who initially
has no right to have it.
To conclude
, the debate about whether companies should be permitted to posses
Correct your spelling
possess
data
regarding their clients is complex and multifaced. Although
it can make a positive contribution to the quality of the
Correct article usage
apply
customer
service, it undoubtedly put
Wrong verb form
puts
one
's personal infomration
at risk.Correct your spelling
information
Submitted by gabadlugo on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main body, and conclusion. Link ideas and paragraphs together using cohesive devices effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not equally strong. The conclusion needs to summarise the points made clearer.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points thoroughly with specific and relevant examples to enhance the argument and provide a more persuasive essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure you discuss both views and give your own opinion if the question requires it, which would enrich the response.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and expand on them comprehensively to demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include specific examples that are relevant to your arguments. They should be well-integrated into your essay to support the points you are making.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
