Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the contemporary epoch,

whilst

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

some opponents hold the view that teaching music and artistry may hinder the student's

skills

Use synonyms

. Some proponents and I believe that it is quintessential for pupils to study

such

Linking Words

materials to improve their intellectual

skills

Use synonyms

. My contention will be

further

Linking Words

explained. On the one hand,

although

Linking Words

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

art

Correct your spelling

show examples

crucial material in enormous schools, some individuals still reckon that it is just a wasted effort.

this

Linking Words

means that when pupils focus on other essential topics

such

Linking Words

as sci

ence

Correct your spelling

science

and math, they may get better opportunities in prestigious universities. An eminent example is a survey conducted by the University of Alberta, Canada, which revealed that those who have more cognitive

skills

Use synonyms

can secure thriving jobs easily.

Hence

Linking Words

, what can be said is that scientific subjects can guarantee a good future with ample jobs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having subjects like art and music strengthens the pupils' way of thinking and ameliorates their mentality.

In other words

Linking Words

, even in basic sallybuses like chemistry or geology, if they have a complicated topic,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

had better add a large number of graphs and use crafts to make it more lucid for the adolescents.

For example

Linking Words

, A study conducted by Ahram magazine in Egypt has shown that those who have studied artwork in their childhood have better analysis and communication

skills

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, Not only academic topics are the key to becoming a successful person, but

also

Linking Words

fine arts are salient for some jobs like painters and authors. In conclusion,

Linking Words

after

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points. It can be reiterated that art empowers all the scholar’s mentality. I am a staunch believer that if all the schools adopted artistry as a mandatory subject, the new generation would have an amazing life full of creativity.

madonna.ibrahim.labibFri Aug 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language

The essay provides a good range of vocabulary but lacks precision and accuracy in expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

296 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

self-expression
critical thinking
problem-solving
cultural awareness
tolerant society
STEM subjects
employability
rigorous subjects
curriculum
school budgets
enriches
complements

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video games too much. How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?
Most youngsters aged 7 to 11 years old spend lots of time enjoying video games and watching television. This essay will identify the components contributing to this and discuss some solutions.
7
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Due to the development of technology,many people argue that many children spend all of their time using smart devices such as phones.The factor which leads to this phenomenon is the attraction of social platforms and the writer concedes this is a negative trend because of the effect on their health.
7
band
Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? JJ
In contemporary society, it is evident that certain artists accumulate substantial wealth through organizing concerts and events, while others in the creative sector struggle to make ends meet. This disparity raises questions about the fairness of the financial rewards within the artistic community. However, I firmly contend that it would be inappropriate for governments to intervene in the income distribution of artists, as they are not accountable for the economic outcomes of others. Each individual should have the autonomy to determine their financial path based on their choices and efforts.
7.5
band
You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.
I am Damien Salmon who recently attended an interview for the position of senior accountant on the 25th of October 2024. I would like to thank you for considering me as a candidate for this position. I am writing to let you know that I have thoroughly thought through and have made my final decision to accept the job offer.
6
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Home is a basic need for living. Without your own home, you are homeless. In some countries, people prefer to own a home rather than renting one. It is because people are free from the burden of paying rent every month and in my opinion, it is a positive situation because living permanently in an owned place is better than living in a rented place temporarily.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video games too much. How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? JJ

You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?