Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #art #children #school #waste #time

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In the contemporary epoch,

whilst

Correct word choice

apply

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some opponents hold the view that teaching music and artistry may hinder the student's

skills

Use synonyms

. Some proponents and I believe that it is quintessential for pupils to study

such

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materials to improve their intellectual

skills

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. My contention will be

further

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explained. On the one hand,

although

Linking Words

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

art

Correct your spelling

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crucial material in enormous schools, some individuals still reckon that it is just a wasted effort.

this

Linking Words

means that when pupils focus on other essential topics

such

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as sci

ence

Correct your spelling

science

and math, they may get better opportunities in prestigious universities. An eminent example is a survey conducted by the University of Alberta, Canada, which revealed that those who have more cognitive

skills

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can secure thriving jobs easily.

Hence

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, what can be said is that scientific subjects can guarantee a good future with ample jobs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having subjects like art and music strengthens the pupils' way of thinking and ameliorates their mentality.

In other words

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, even in basic sallybuses like chemistry or geology, if they have a complicated topic,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

had better add a large number of graphs and use crafts to make it more lucid for the adolescents.

For example

Linking Words

, A study conducted by Ahram magazine in Egypt has shown that those who have studied artwork in their childhood have better analysis and communication

skills

Use synonyms

Thus

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, Not only academic topics are the key to becoming a successful person, but

also

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fine arts are salient for some jobs like painters and authors. In conclusion,

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after

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apply

show examples

this

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essay has manifested the above-mentioned points. It can be reiterated that art empowers all the scholar’s mentality. I am a staunch believer that if all the schools adopted artistry as a mandatory subject, the new generation would have an amazing life full of creativity.

Submitted by madonna.ibrahim.labib on Fri Aug 19 2022

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Language

The essay provides a good range of vocabulary but lacks precision and accuracy in expression.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-expression
critical thinking
problem-solving
cultural awareness
tolerant society
STEM subjects
employability
rigorous subjects
curriculum
school budgets
enriches
complements

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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people says that it is a waste of public money to spend on cultural events, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant area of cities and towns .while other believe housing facilities should be built instead. Do agree or disagree?

Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?