Some people think the government founding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population anf the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

#people #government #art #culture #activities #population #anf

It is a common belief that some

people

argue that the government should not support artists and

culture

because it is not beneficial to all

people

However

, others are of the opinion that the government should invest more aggressively in diverse cultures and artistic activities. I agree with the former opinion. In

this

essay, both sides of the issue will be discussed and

then

my position will be presented in the conclusion part. On the one hand,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

and

culture

would be growing naturally without supporting it by the government.

In addition

, they believe that there are other essential parts of things

such

as solving traffic jams, taking care of children, and preventing crime; it should be more important than supporting

art

and

culture

In other words

, investment in

art

and

culture

would be an option; it is not essential.

This

is an example that solving traffic jams needs a lot of money. It has a huge impact on all

people

On the other hand

people

who agree with supporting

art

and

culture

believe that these have a significant impact on our

society

Also

art

and

culture

are unique identities for them.

That is

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

art

and

culture

trigger our economy.

For example

, tourists are increased if their

culture

has an attraction to

people

. After that, the local market would be growing up. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, I firmly believe that supporting

art

and

culture

helps our

society

However

, it is

also

true that there are other essential parts.

Therefore

, from my own viewpoint, if

society

makes

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

with the aim to narrow the gap between the two options, it would be more effective for our

society

Submitted by ccjy1113 on Thu Jul 14 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents the two views, however, the argumentation is not fully developed.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the topic. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs lacks coherence and cohesion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think the government founding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population anf the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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