These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
It is argued that
in
these days, the breadwinner became the woman Change preposition
apply
while
the men stayed at home
, carrying the childrens
and doing the Correct your spelling
children
hometasks
. Correct your spelling
home tasks
This
essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that is
a positive developpement
for the structure of our society and for the equality between Correct your spelling
development
womens
and Correct your spelling
women
mens
.
Since always, males have usually been considered as the Correct your spelling
men
one
who had to Correct pronoun usage
ones
work
and bring the money at home
. Nevertheless
, in our days, the roles have been inverted, and an
equality between them is more and more just. Remove the article
apply
This
inversion has increased since the females started to be few confident about their position in society. In my opinion, this
is a great situation because it shows, increasingly, that womens
have the same capabilities and the same options of wanting to stay Correct your spelling
women
home
or go to work
than
Change preposition
as
mens
. An article published by “El Mundo” stated that 75 Correct your spelling
men
percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
womens
prefer to go to Correct your spelling
women
work
than stay home
.
Being the breadwinner is considered as
a source of power in some kinds of Change preposition
apply
family
, Fix the agreement mistake
families
that
is why few fathers think Correct pronoun usage
which
that is
a negative development let the women be. But, on the contrary
, I believe that it is a good thing to let them be because our society is evolving and goes further
than the traditional idea of a wife staying at home
. An argument that supports this
view is a survey conducted by the university
of Yale in 1990, Capitalize word
University
that
proved that people are more motivated since women started to Correct pronoun usage
which
work
because there is more diversity.
In conclusion, I believe that letting the
mothers go out Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
to
work
while
the
fathers stay at Correct article usage
apply
home
is a positive situation that shows women's power in our days and fights for having
the same equality between the two sexes.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by santos_dij on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The logical structure is not well developed, leading to unclear progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. Specific examples are relevant but need further development and support.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
