Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

Children

experience many pressures in terms of study, society, and commercials. These several causes of

this

problem and some solutions to solve the above situation.

To begin

with, there are some reasons why

children

are under so much stress nowadays. The first one is that they have to compete with many other admissions to get into school. In an era where learning comes

first,

the stress of study is inevitable

due to

the high level of competition. They have to study hard to submit to a better school, which is an extremely stressful environment.

In addition

, being aware of the change in

this

era, educational institutions have added more subjects to equip their students with better preparation.

However

, it creates more pressure for admission because a lot of knowledge and exercises need to be absorbed before doing other things.

As a result

children

will have less free time between academy sessions and they not be able to do the things they enjoy

Nevertheless

although

there are some problems above, there are several solutions to solve the tense situation of

children

in the present.

Firstly

, we should launch any campaign programs in the media or the department to re-educate the awareness of parents and students. In these programs,

children

are taught that they should work together to improve their knowledge

instead

of competing for a place in a good department.

Secondly

, educators had better review their education plans. They should reduce the number of theoretical lessons in class and focus on practical lessons, which bring many social skills, or reduce the amount of homework so that heir can participate in more outdoor activities.

For instance

according to

a survey in Europe, tension among

children

has decreased by 25% after the same solutions were done.

To conclude

, there are some reasons why

children

are facing more pressure nowadays and some action to solve

this

situation.

Sun Jul 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay partially addresses the causes and measures to reduce children's pressures. However, the explanations lack depth and specificity. It would be beneficial to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support the points made.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the connection between ideas within and between paragraphs could be improved. Utilize cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases to enhance coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The decreasing amount of time that children spend on offline activities is dangerously alarming, hence why many juveniles are so occupied with smartphones to compensate for that. This phenomenon is allegedly caused by a major expansion of advancement of technology which allows children to do most of their activity via online platforms, even for studying, and increasing the sense of dependency. This essay will discuss how this particular shift of behaviour is not beneficial for the offspring.
<4
band
Write about the following topic: Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While some people believe that socialise with colleages in out of working hours is important, others argue that working life completely different from the private life. I support the former view which I will explain in this essay.
4.5
band
In the fight against crime, police forces and government are increasingly using security cameras in public places. Some people are opposed to this, saying that it invades our privacy. What do you think?
Nowadays, a lot of people more concerned about their security, and so there is using more public security such as camera in public areas. However, many people do not agree with them to have more public cameras. This essay will discuss whether this is correct.
5
band
Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an argument suggesting the prohibition of cell phones in public places. In this essay, I will argue that it is not reasonable to stricktly limit mobile phones in these places as the majority of individuals are dependent on their cells for working or personal reasons, and further, banning mobiles or other modern gadgets would strip public places of their significant capabilities.
8
band
In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cell phone ) apps is becoming incresingly common . Does this development have more advantages or disavantages ?
It is often stated that in numerous nations, purchasing items by smartphone application is becoming increasingly. In my opinion, the benefits of this are higher than the disadvantages.

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Write about the following topic: Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the fight against crime, police forces and government are increasingly using security cameras in public places. Some people are opposed to this, saying that it invades our privacy. What do you think?

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cell phone ) apps is becoming incresingly common . Does this development have more advantages or disavantages ?