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Band 5.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantags.

#computers #education #disadvantags
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In
this
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 modern era, the usage of digital products in the teaching field is increasing.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 notion in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with merits, using computers in schools are
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time saving
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time-saving
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 and efficient in many ways. To explicate it, many educational institutes are implementing computer-based teaching systems in their school.
Due to
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 that
students
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 save a tremendous amount of
time
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 and do other curriculum activities in that free
time
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.
This
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 method is very efficient and used by many known colleges and schools across the world.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Harvard University showed that
while
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 learning online
students
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 save 40% of their
time
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 and score 20% more marks
in
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on
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 the exam.
As a result
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, generally, student uses a smartphone or a tablet for their projects.
Further
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 shifting towards demerits , Continued use of digital platforms for study is harmful in many ways, as learners more and more rely on computers for their day-to-day school tasks.
In other words
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, they did not use their own skills in order to educate themselves. Eventually, they will lose both marks and interest in studying various subjects at the institute. To cite an example, a headline in the Times Of India revealed that since the usage of computers in schooling increased,
students
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 become more addicted to devices.
As a result
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, many institutions implement strict policies and issue notices to their parents for constant monitoring of the
students
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 pupils save valuable
time
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 and study efficiently yet they will become more addicted towards phones
as well as
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 lose more marks in their respective exams.
Submitted by birenp046 on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are needed to frame your essay. Ensure you begin with a clear introduction stating your intentions and end with a concise conclusion that summarizes your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow to your ideas. Use connecting phrases to better link your ideas and ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic.
task achievement
Support your main points with detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Avoid general statements without evidence.
task achievement
Be sure to address the task fully by discussing both sides equally. Avoid imbalanced coverage of the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your essay by developing comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the essay task. Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and accurately.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-learning
  • digital literacy
  • online collaboration
  • multimedia resources
  • virtual classrooms
  • cybersecurity
  • pedagogy
  • remote learning
  • adaptive technology
  • educational inequality
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