IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to learn foreign language at primary school not in secondary school. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage

#experts #children #language #school #advantage #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Languages, like genes, are
also
Linking Words
 documents of history. In
this
Linking Words
 period of globalization, some people think that it is important to learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
initial
Add an article
the initial
show examples
 period of
school
Use synonyms
 rather than in secondary
school
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand,
language
Use synonyms
 is the base of any culture. Learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has many benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it helps teenagers to know the foreign culture in which the
language
Use synonyms
 is spoken by local people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students have less academic
pressure
Use synonyms
 so they can easily learn the other
language
Use synonyms
 at
such
Linking Words
age
Correct article usage
an age
show examples
. By learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 at primary
school
Use synonyms
, teenagers can choose to be in that
language
Use synonyms
 medium and it will be easy for them as they already know it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will help them to attend meetings and interviews with international companies and help to get respectable
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their field.
Lastly
Linking Words
, during
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 the risk of
Use synonyms
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 barrier is minimized if one
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 the
language
Use synonyms
 properly and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to interact easily with foreigners.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, secondary
Use synonyms
Change noun form
school
show examples
school's
Change noun form
school
show examples
 students tend to learn other
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 easily than
Change preposition
in primary
show examples
primary
Change preposition
in primary
show examples
school
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, they have huge
pressure
Use synonyms
 of academics and career so it is a difficult choice for children
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 learning
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better or their career and studies are more crucial.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, secondary
Use synonyms
school's
Change noun form
school
show examples
child
Use synonyms
 is usually more into playing games with their friends so it is hard for parents to reconcile their
child
Use synonyms
 to learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. To reciprocate, learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 has many benefits.
However
Linking Words
,
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
pressure
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 important
otherwise
Linking Words
 it will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
. So every parent should opt
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 children
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 possible way as they do not have that much mental
pressure
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vivekchovatiya8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include specific examples to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: