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Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #salary #company #work #atmosphere
Many
people
 dream
to
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of working
show examples
work
 in large
companies
 these days because of
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
show examples
 offered by them.
However
, some
people
 choose these
companies
 for high
salary
 to
work
 for,
while
 others believe that working in a good
atmosphere
 can be beneficial. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the argument and give my opinion.
Firstly
, selecting a dream company is a big challenge
due to
a
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the
show examples
 heavy competition. Apart from that, maintaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
job security is the most difficult one.
For instance
, each year many graduates qualify their studies for jobs, but only 7 percent of
people
 with high academic performances get
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. So, it is important for an average
middle class
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middle-class
show examples
 person to get a high
salary
 to overcome their monthly
spendings
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spending
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other
people
 believe that working in a good
atmosphere
 can be advantageous.
Moreover
, healthy surroundings at our
work
 can help the employees to
work
 more effectively
as well as
it
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apply
show examples
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
show examples
 interest towards their
work
.
For example
,
the
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apply
show examples
famous
companies
 like Google, Amazon,
Apple
Correct word choice
and Apple
show examples
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 memberships in clubs and recreational activities to motivate the employees who
work
 in those
companies
. In conclusion, by the
above aforementioned
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above-aforementioned
show examples
points
Add a comma
points,
show examples
 it is important to
work
 for
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
as well as
 in a good
atmosphere
. In my humble opinion, it is more important to
work
 in
a better surroundings
Correct the article-noun agreement
better surroundings
a better surrounding
show examples
 rather than working for a high
salary
.
Although
 many
companies
 offer both higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 with a good
atmosphere
, it
should
Verb problem
is
show examples
also
 important for other
companies
 to
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
 a healthy
atmosphere
 for their employees.

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task response
Address the prompt more directly by providing a more balanced discussion of both views. Include specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, but the arguments could be more effectively organized. Ensure that your introduction previews the points you will discuss and that your conclusion summarizes your main ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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