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Band 4.5

University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #students
Some argue that for now, universities in some countries are
now
Rephrase
apply
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free, providing for all their citizens, even though it costs extremely high. There are a number of beneficial aspects of free
education
in
Change preposition
at
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university
.
In contrast
, there are some drawbacks to
this
 point.
This
 essay will explain both sides of free
university
education
. On the one hand, free
education
 benefits teenagers in various ways.
Firstly
, Free
education
 reduces the cost of the family. Parents can use
this
 part of the money to do something else, improving their welfare.
Secondly
, Teenagers who take a gap year will not be hardworking for the
university
 fees. They can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
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prepare
Replace the word
prepared
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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admission or take their time to learn themselves.
Finally
, universities are more attractive.
Due to
 the free learning, all people who are interested in the study can
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
join without financial relations.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages to free
education
 in
university
. Certainly, universities will earn income lower than past. They do not take money from students.
For
this
 reason, the
university
 will not have the profits to manage the organization or expand any institutes.
Furthermore
, students who enrol in free courses from the
university
. They may have the opportunity to retire more than one who pays fees.
This
 is because they feel like it does not their money
therefore
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 would be no effects. In conclusion, in my opinion, I think free
university
education
 benefits students. If
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
education
 is free, there will be a number of people who are interested in it.
In addition
, free
education
 must be served to the person who really needs it.
Submitted by don.dn125 on

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task response
Improve task response by fully addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of free university education. Develop a clear opinion and provide balanced arguments. Ensure that the essay effectively addresses the full scope of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Work on coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas in a clearer and more logical structure. Use cohesive devices (e.g., transition words) to improve the flow of ideas. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively introduce and conclude the essay, respectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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