Certain individual tell that sparing time to enhance a successful career is the most vital thing. Opponent say the time spend with friends and family is more important. Debate both sides and give your opinion?

#time #career #opponent #friends #debate

To lead a happy

life

, people need both career and family. Certain individual tell that giving

time

for a successful career is the most vital thing. Whereas, others say

time

spent

Suggestion

with

friends and family is more important. In my opinion, I agree with the later notion to spare

time

with loved ones is essential. On the one hand, People ascertain spending

time

Suggestion

with

family and friends is very much essential for health benefits and I agree. The Individual

spend

Suggestion

spends

most of the

time

in workplace in meeting and carrying out

difficult task

Suggestion

difficult tasks

the difficult task

. By doing

this

regularly it will affect their health, they are chance that stress related illness and tension of work will not allow them to lead a peaceful

life

Hence

, to release the workload and get themselves diverted they can meet with friends and family members.

This

way their mental depression can be reduced and

this

how

life

can be balanced.

for

Suggestion

For

instance, as

per recent study

Suggestion

per a recent study

it was concluded that 95% people in corporate world suffer from stress related illness and by mingling with acquaintance has proven successful.

On the other hand

, people saying devoting

time

for building career

Suggestion

are

necessary. They think most important to lead a happy

life

is to have an employment. Usually

first

job will not offer good

salary it will

Suggestion

salary, it will

only fulfil the basic needs of

life

. In order to have good paying

job

Suggestion

jobs

to satisfy all your wants is to grab a job in reputed multinational company. Individual need to prove his worth and for

this

has acquire

Suggestion

has acquired

expertise in his field and

also

simultaneously need to acquire additional skill as per growing demand. To acquire experience and

also

additional skill he goes on spending his day and night.

for

Suggestion

For

instance, recent online survey stated that all the CEO and CFO of US based company have invested most of

time

in jobs and acquiring skills. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I strongly support with giving maximum attention to relatives and acquaintance is most important for good health.

Thus

, it will

also

increase productivity by balancing the work and family

life

Submitted by findwahab on Fri Feb 28 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

355 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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