Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views anf give your opinion.

Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
early
education
helps to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
knowledge but some
people
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
need to enjoy their childhood.In
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
early
education
Change noun form
education's
show examples
pros and cons. Currently, parents are willing
join
Add the particle
to join
show examples
their
kids
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early age because they will learn easily.Marketing companies brainwash the
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
minds about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early
education
and it
is creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
some social status.Parents are happy to share others about their
kids
pre
Change preposition
apply
show examples
level
Correct your spelling
pre-level
show examples
education
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
For example
, in 1990
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
don't
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
have any
education
at the age of three but now we have a lot of classes.
Secondly
, Some
people
argue early
education
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
need
Replace the word
needed
show examples
for
kids
because they need to spend quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.It will help to grow children with love and care but now
kids
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
a lot of stress during their studies .
Due to
that
competition
Add a comma
competition,
show examples
they
forced
Add a missing verb
are forced
show examples
to do activities without their happiness.
For example
, in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pre school
Add a hyphen
pre-school
show examples
syllabus
Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
show examples
Add a missing verb
are similarly
show examples
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
1 syllabus.
Coclusion
Correct your spelling
Conclusion
,
education
helps to improve
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lifestyle but too early
education
affect their health and rush
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
education
competition.
Submitted by keyarthi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You need to provide a more balanced discussion of both views in your essay. Currently, your essay is biased towards the idea of early education being unnecessary.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure and does not effectively develop your main points. Try to organize your ideas logically and provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
lexical resource
Your choice of vocabulary is limited and there are several instances of incorrect word usage. Try to expand your vocabulary and use words accurately.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors in your essay, including incorrect verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Review your grammar and try to improve your sentence construction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social interactions
  • educational foundation
  • structured learning
  • emotional and psychological readiness
  • effective learning
  • cost-effective
  • childcare centers
  • explore their interests
  • creativity
  • love of learning
  • parental burden
  • economic considerations
  • childhood freedom
  • natural learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: