Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

It is debatable
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
style of
upbringing
Add an article
the upbringing
show examples
of
kids
is in urban areas or in rural areas. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will delve
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
and drawbacks in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, the main advantage of the look after
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
in town is that they can
take
Verb problem
be
show examples
admission
Replace the word
admitted
show examples
in
well reputed
Add a hyphen
well-reputed
show examples
schools, which will help them enhance their knowledge
as well as
help to create their creativity. In private schools,
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
uses different methods to improve their basic level.
Therefore
, in initial schooling
kids
learn various things that they cannot learn in rural area's government
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
However
, the main disadvantage of urban upbringing is that both
parents
go to their work.
Children
live alone at home. They are unaware
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
to use their leisure time in a productive way and
accompanied
Add a missing verb
are accompanied
show examples
by
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
company of peers.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
live in nuclear families
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
extended clans.
Therefore
,
due to
the hectic schedule of
parents
,
children
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
isolated and start to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad kind of activities, because they are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
right or wrong.
For example
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chandigarh city, both
parents
go to work, and
children
live alone at home, and when they
free
Add a missing verb
are free
show examples
they go to
rose park
Correct your spelling
Rose Park
show examples
or
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sukhna
lake
Capitalize word
Lake
show examples
where different psychological
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of
people
come and
kids
attract
Wrong verb form
are attracted
show examples
when they see their activities.
On the other hand
, the chief benefit of rural nurturing of
children
is that they live in a joint family, even if
parents
are busy.
Then
care of them can be taken by grandparents.
Also
, grandparents teach
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
grand
Correct your spelling
grandkids
show examples
kids
many good things. Take
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
Instance
Fix capitalization
instance
show examples
, Infants can learn about traditional culture, language and history.
Nevertheless
, It certainly has some drawbacks.
Firstly
, some rural
people
do not earn enough money because of unemployment and they cannot send their
kids
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
reputed academic institutions. Where they can learn a plethora of knowledge.
As well as
,
due to
the less literate level, in future, when
kids
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
they
Change preposition
up they
show examples
face unemployment problems. In conclusion,
Although
there are some problems in rural areas,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think
kids
can get
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
upbringing in cities than
villages
Change preposition
in villages
show examples
, because in towns they meet
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
people
and improve their knowledge
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
, boost their confidence and communication skills. Which are necessary in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
era.
Submitted by tejveerbamrah60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: