Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
some
people
think that advertising is very effective in influencing consumers' purchasing decisions, others argue that it is too mundane and,
as a result
, can no longer capture
people
's attention.
While
social
media
has made advertising more prevalent than ever before, I still think it is extremely powerful because it creates
desire
Add an article
a desire
the desire
show examples
for the products it sells. On the one hand, it can be argued that social
media
platforms feed users with an enormous amount of advertising. There are an endless number of ads on these platforms.
Moreover
, even the pictures and videos that Influencers share about their daily lives can be promotions of something specific. brand.
As a result
,
people
can become very desensitized to the content of these advertisements and commercials. they say promotional posts and scroll through their feed as fast as they can.
However
, I disagree with
this
claim because if ads on social
media
did not generate sales, some social
media
companies and influencers would not be
this
rich.
On the other hand
, advertisers are thought to be quite successful in planting the seed of desire in the minds of consumers.
For example
, many underwear manufacturers use sex models in their advertisements to give women the message that they can be as sexy as those models if they wear their underwear. The message makes them want to be more attractive and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they buy it even though they don't need it. I agree with
this
view because I have purchased many unnecessary things that I would not have considered purchasing if advertisers had not planted these ideas in my head. In conclusion,
although
the excessive amount of advertising on social networking sites makes
people
immune to it, I still believe it is very effective as it creates a desire in consumers to purchase products
Submitted by oyku.bilgin12 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction needs to present the topic and a clear thesis statement where you state your own opinion. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments and restate your opinion. Your essay lacked a conclusive summary that clearly restated your position and the arguments discussed.
logical structure
When constructing your essay, make sure that your ideas are organized in a logical and clear manner. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be connected to the overall topic. Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. Your essay showed a decent attempt at organizing ideas, but this can be improved.
supported main points
Your main points should always be supported by relevant examples and explanations. Make sure to provide specific illustrations that directly relate to the arguments you're making to reinforce your points. Your essay provided some general examples, but these could be more specific and closely tied to the arguments for greater impact.
complete response
Understand the complete demands of the task. The essay must address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, providing a clear response to each aspect. Your response should stay on topic and include a balanced discussion of both views presented, as well as a clear personal stance. Your essay included personal opinions, but more attention could be given to discussing both views evenly and fully before providing your own conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea and a seamless flow of thoughts, ensuring clarity of argumentation throughout the essay. While your points were somewhat clear, they could be articulated more comprehensively.
relevant specific examples
While discussing abstract concepts, try to bring in relevant, specific examples to support your argument. These examples should serve to concretely illustrate your point and enhance the reader's understanding. Avoid overly general statements and strive to provide examples that are directly relevant to the argument you are trying to make.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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