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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problem,and suggest some solutions.

#obesity #health #parts #world
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Obesity
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 is an alarmingly increasing global health issue. The fundamental cause of
obesity
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 is an imbalance of calories consumed and
colories
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calories
 expanded. I think drastic public policies
such
Linking Words
 as levying a significant tax on unhealthy
food
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 and subsidizing healthy
food
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 are crucial strategies to prevent
obesity
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. As global diets have changed in recent decades, there has been an increase in the consumption of energy-dense foods high in fat and free sugars. Overconsumption of energy provided by energy-dense, nutrient-poor(EDNP)
food
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 and drinks increases the risk of unhealthy weight gain and
of
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apply
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obesity
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-related health outcomes. More than 80% of people experiencing a
heart-attack
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heart attack
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 or stroke live with overweight or
obesity
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. Excessive and impaired body fat
issue
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issues
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 can cause inflammation in the blood vessels that lead to the heart, causing a heart attack. One strategy to encourage consumers to make healthier choices is through fiscal policy,
such
Linking Words
 as subsidies or taxes. Examples include taxes on products known to be bad for health, like tobacco and alcohol, with an aim to
dicourage
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discourage
 consumers from purchasing those products. For
susidies
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subsidies
, the idea is that, if prices are reduced and healthier foods are more affordable, people will buy more. So, it is easier to find subsidies for fruit and vegetables, and some countries
also
Linking Words
 have subsidies for healthier products and staple foods to support nutrition for those with lower incomes. In conclusion,
obesity
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 is dramatically rising in some countries in the world since they consume more processed
food
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, so the government should provide tax policies to support healthy
food
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.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the main topic, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. Also, use linking words to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and solutions to support your ideas, and ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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