The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from
Tourist
Correct article usage
the Tourist
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Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone
by
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in
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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6 months
in
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of
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2011.
Overall
, it was obvious that it had an
in significant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
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increase
on
Change preposition
in
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directive
respond
Replace the word
responses
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from people and letters, but
person
Add an article
the person
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was the most common way
from
Change preposition
apply
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followed March.
While
an
Correct article usage
apply
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enquires by telephone went down rapidly and get
a
Change the article
the
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lowest number compared to others. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that individual numbers
was
Change the verb form
were
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lowest
on
Change preposition
in
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January, approximately 400,
then
an upward trend was seen
on
Change preposition
in
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that and reached a
pick
Correct your spelling
peak
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on
Change preposition
in
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June, around 1900.
In contrast
, telephone requirements
was
Change the verb form
were
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highest in the new year,
then
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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plummeted moderately and picked
at
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up at
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1600
on
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in
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June, lower than
by
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per
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person
Add an article
a person
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. Thought it had a decrease from January to February.
Finally
, the amount of phone enquiries fall dramatically
by
Change preposition
apply
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over
first
Correct article usage
the first
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five months and hit a low of roughly 280
on
Change preposition
in
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May,
then
it remained nearly constant until June.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "indicated" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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