News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

#news #part #people’s #lives #people #focus

All around the places in

this

tangible

world

, everyday

news

matters to the

people

as they either have direct or indirect relations to their social life.

Moreover

, sometimes a particular

news

could modify an individual's course of action when it is from their own realm. In

this

essay, I will discuss in detail the significance of

news

people

's lives and the reasons for often unpleasant

news

from the

news

channels, and

also

if there is any need to change

this

pattern and make a shift to upright healthy

news

Firstly

, the role of

news

and daily updates is pivotal in human life. The system of

news

came earlier to spread information among

people

so as to make them aware of activities by the

people

and for the

people

(by the government). With technological advancements, ways of

news

formats changed from a pigeon carrying a message to an announcer in the market in earlier years to newsrooms and channels to very recent social apps. Certainly,

news

helps

people

to stay connected with their surroundings and get themselves involved in

this

social process.

For instance

, we get updates in different fields and an interesting government announcement through

news

in a particular field would likely get positive or negative reactions and could be

further

modified.

Next,

regarding bad

news

, unfortunately,

this

is indeed true. Not to explain, more than 60% time it is distressing newsnews. It probably reflects human mentality but

also

to blame the initial structure of

news

For example

, In India, newspapers started before independence and

people

shared painful updates in order to fight for freedom and to enlighten

people

However

, in the present

world

, the situation is entirely different. Even though

people

are making progress through technology and there are many good things happening all around the

world

, despite that more

people

are suffering from loneliness and related psychological issues. It is

therefore

required to focus more on cheerful, encouraging and motivating

news

rather than on terrible

news

. In conclusion,

news

does play a considerably important role in social lives.

Nevertheless

, in

this

modern

world

, it is important to change focus from bad

news

to good

news

as per the aforementioned reasons.

Submitted by sonyasharma01 on Wed Aug 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are presented logically, although some points could be more elaborated to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The response adequately addresses the task, but it could benefit from providing more specific and detailed examples to support the ideas.

lexical resource

The essay shows a good command of vocabulary and uses a variety of expressions. However, more sophisticated vocabulary and nuanced expressions could be used to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The essay demonstrates good control of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that can be improved to achieve a higher score in this criterion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

363 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some people believe that new technologies like mobiles kills social interaction . Do you agree or disagree ?

the increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. what forms do these problems take? do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?