some people think that social networking apps are beneficial for society, other people think that it has a bad impact on society. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many argue that
applications
which
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
us to communicate with our friends and strangers are useful to us because of the interaction need we have as humans,
while
others say the opposite
due to
the addiction they create. I think as long as we can limit the
time
we spend on those
applications
, they are essential to us as humans. Some people tend to see the addiction communication
apps
make, and
therefore
find them harmful to people. Many experience endless group chats with friends or 3-hour Twitter scrolling sessions, and these are the results of the chemical in our brains named "dopamine", which makes us highly dependent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
itself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
. To face
this
problem, companies
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
produce computers and mobile phones started to build certain
time
management solutions to prevent our dependence on
apps
,
such
as screen
time
blockers or
time
limitations for specific
apps
.
However
, as a dopamine addict myself, I find the addiction preventable by implementing certain solutions,
such
as turning
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
the app notifications or using only several platforms for socialising, and I believe by doing
this
we can still experience the good sides of these
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
. Some say we need to communicate with each other through social media platforms, and since communication is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of
the
Change the word
our
show examples
needs of us as
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
, these
applications
are necessary for us. Without communication, we basically prevent ourselves from the happiness which we can easily experience by just sending certain "memes" or reading the comments section of a video we like. I think we have seen the importance of interaction with others back in quarantine days. Almost everyone
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
get out of their home and we stick to each other via
apps
such
as Discord, Zoom,
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
show examples
and Telegram
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I have accepted the essential part of
apps
which allow us to communicate.
To conclude
, even though we can easily get addicted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
applications
we use in order to
socilise
Correct your spelling
socialise
, I think with certain limitations, they meet our basic needs and
therefore
are beneficial to us.
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task achievement
While your essay successfully discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, it is crucial to enrich your argument with more specific examples. Incorporating statistics, research findings, or real-life scenarios would bolster the credibility and depth of your claims, making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider more varied transition phrases to smoothly link ideas between and within paragraphs. Also, a clearer distinction between arguments for a smoother read and reinforcement of your thesis throughout the essay would be beneficial. Strengthen the introduction and conclusion to more explicitly outline your stance and summarise the key points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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