The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
of Australian
male
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males
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and
female
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females
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who
practiced
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practised
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routine physical
activity
in six different
age
groups in 2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the
percentage
of
doing
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apply
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regular physical
activity
of
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in
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female
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females
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was higher than
male
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males
show examples
in the given’s diagram period. The
percentage
of middle
age
female groups who did physical
activity
were the most,
while
the less physical
activity
of male was from 35 to 44 ages. In the youngest
age
(15 to 24), the
proportion
of exercising daily
of
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apply
show examples
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the male
a male
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male
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males
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was higher than
female
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females
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by 5,1 %.
In contrast
,
in
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at
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the
age
of 25 to 34, the
percentage
of routine physical
activity
of
male
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males
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lower
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is lower
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than
female
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females
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by 6,7%,
while
the figure
of
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for
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male
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males
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and
female
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females
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in
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at
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the
age
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ages
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35 to 44 to 39,5% and 52,5%, respectively. In the 45 to 54
age
group, the
proportion
of doing exercise daily of female continued higher than
male
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males
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by 10,2%. Between the
age
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ages
show examples
45 and 54 shared the same trend, with the
percentage
of routine physical
activity
of
male
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males
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and
female
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females
show examples
were 45,1% and 53%, respectively.
Finally
, the
proportion
of Australian
male
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males
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and
female
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females
show examples
who did physical
activity
were
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was
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about the same, with the
percentage
of exercising regularly of
female
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females
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higher than
male
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males
show examples
by 0,4%.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, activity, age, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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