Social media websites have amused large user bases. Do the advantages of being a part of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #websites #user #bases #part

There is an ongoing debate about the

internet

and whether it stonished a

numerous

Correct word choice

large

show examples

number of consumers. My perspective is,

although

Correct word choice

that although

show examples

being a part of social

media

can have

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

aspects, there are several

advatages

Correct your spelling

advantages

which overshadow the drawbacks. The following paragraphs will

diccuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

this

assertion.

To begin

with, there are huge advantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

utilizing the

internet

First,

it made

communication

facil

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

a larg

show examples

larg

Correct your spelling

large

scale, which

pave

Wrong verb form

paved

show examples

the way for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

qualified interaction with whomever via social

media

This

leads to a suitable relationship between residents without being

distrubted

Correct your spelling

distributed

by geographical

bounderies

Correct your spelling

boundaries

. In fact,

with

Change preposition

show examples

consuming the

internet

, individuals are able to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sustainble

Correct your spelling

sustainable

communication

with

Change preposition

over

show examples

long-haul distances.

For example

, an individual in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

can have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

substantial interaction with a person in

Asturalia

Correct your spelling

Australia

with the

accessiblity

Correct your spelling

accessibility

of mobile phones and social

media

This

means that the more social

media

expands, the more significantly wealthy interaction residents will

posses

Correct your spelling

possess

show examples

Second,

This

issue can be beneficial for a standard livelihood. It has been

considred

Correct your spelling

considered

that with the

availibility

Correct your spelling

availability

of the

internet

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

vast

Change the article

a vast

the vast

show examples

number of job

oppurtounities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

for

skiled

Correct your spelling

skilled

workers. In the modern era, because of the existence of the

internet

, there are more well-educated people who are suitable for

divers

Correct your spelling

diverse

show examples

jobs. In other

worlds

Correct your spelling

words

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

criteria

paves

Correct subject-verb agreement

pave

show examples

the way for a

quilified

Correct your spelling

qualified

toturing

Correct your spelling

torturing

tutoring

service since it will provide a wide range of information.

This

wiil

Correct your spelling

will

lead to

a well-informed students

Correct the article-noun agreement

well-informed students

a well-informed student

show examples

with a

considrable

Correct your spelling

considerable

amount of knowledge which can be used to find work and have a wealthy living condition with a well-planned income.

Thus

, not only does

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

socila

Correct your spelling

social

media

make

communication

easier, but

also

it is

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

in education for a better understanding.

On the other hand

, It has been

considred

Correct your spelling

considered

that the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

has numerous drawbacks. In terms of

this

, some

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that social

media

are a type of modern addiction.

Statastics

Correct your spelling

Statistics

depicted

Wrong verb form

depict

show examples

that in recent decades there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

huge

Change the article

a huge

the huge

show examples

number

Fix the agreement mistake

numbers

show examples

of people using the

internet

several hours a day.

This

means that individuals are consuming their essential time

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of mobile phones or laptops which will have

Correct article usage

a distructive

show examples

distructive

Correct your spelling

destructive

effect on their livelihood. In other

worlds

Correct your spelling

words

show examples

this

matter will lead to distraction

while

working and less productivity in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

or at home.

Moreover

, the

sicial

Correct your spelling

social

media

cancen

Correct your spelling

can

eliminate the urge for face-to-face social

inteaction

Correct your spelling

interaction

interactions

which can cause challenges for residents. Not being able to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

qualified face-to-face

communication

with people can

exaccerbate

Correct your spelling

exacerbate

the social life of

Correct your spelling

the

person.

This

will cause anxiety and several mental illnesses that can not be cured unless with too much effort.

However

, these effects can be limited with

srict regualtions

Correct your spelling

strict regulations

and supervision of parents and

govrnments

Correct your spelling

governments

to prevent any

damag

Correct your spelling

damage

social

Add an article

the social

show examples

and mental health of the resident. In conclusion, my point of view is,

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

there are several disadvantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

social

media

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it can boost the quality of

communication

and a wealthy

lifetyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

, the

advanteges

Correct your spelling

advantages

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

matter outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by imaneslampanahiep on Sat Feb 10 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. Use clear connecting phrases and ensure that each paragraph has a central idea that is expanded upon with supporting details.

Task Achievement

You have attempted to address all parts of the task and presented a clear position throughout the essay. To further improve, make sure that your argument is supported by specific examples and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and strive to illustrate your points with clear evidence or scenarios.

Language Proficiency

There are several grammatical and spelling errors present in the essay, which can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Proofreading your essay to correct these issues is highly recommended. Additionally, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and more accurate word choices to convey your ideas effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
69Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

483 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media websites have amused large user bases. Do the advantages of being a part of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employment?

In the past, most people lived in small villages, where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only knew a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and the disadvantages of living in small community?