Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #media #sports #stars #development

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In current days it is common that people idolize all kinds of

celebrites

a widely known person

celebrities

even when they are not

portreating

a representation by picture or portraiture

portraying

a good role model. In my

opinion it

Accept comma addition

opinion, it

is never good to have an

idole

conforming to an ultimate standard of perfection or excellence; embodying an ideal

ideal

that

missbehaves

behave badly

misbehaves

misbehave

misbehaved

becuse

for the reason that; on account of

because

it can become that the

persone

a human being

person

parson

persons

who idolizes the celebrity starts to think

that is

Linking Words

normal behaviour.

Specially

Suggestion

Especially

with children it can be a problem to follow

the bad

Suggestion

the worst

trends of some

fameous

widely known and esteemed

famous

person.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it can be quite a downside for

Suggestion

individual to be mesmerized with a well known person with bad

habbits

an established custom

habits

. Some people just get caught in

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

lives

of those who are popular in that extend that they want to be just like them.

This

Linking Words

is why for them it is normal to imitate what they do.

That is

Linking Words

why some people spend way too much money on the stuff they really don't need and

on the other

Linking Words

hand they

Accept comma addition

hand, they

can not

cannot

afford, but they just want to be like their

favourit

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

favoured

music star. There

Suggestion

are

also

Linking Words

those who start to think that drinking alcohol on

daily basis

Suggestion

a daily basis

and consuming drugs, is a normal just because some popular soccer player is doing it.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the kids can be badly affected by a negative side of

fameous

widely known and esteemed

famous

stars. As we all know teenagers and children spend a lot of time on social media, internet and television, and they are easily manipulated by their idols.

For

Linking Words

instance all

Accept comma addition

instance, all

teh

definite article

the

young girls want to look like singers or actors from Hollywood even though those ladies a lot of time promote how important is to look skinny and pretty.

This

Linking Words

can have a big effect on a

yound

(used of living things especially persons) in an early period of life or development or growth

young

teenage girl to the extend that she can starve herself to anorexia. In conclusion,

celebrites

a widely known person

celebrities

are being praised by young people in

this

Linking Words

days even

Suggestion

day, even

day even

when their behaviour is not

Suggestion

the best. My view on it is that it can have negative effect

specially

to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common

especially

in teenagers. It is not

considerd

carefully weighed

considered

good to praise someone with poor manners, because one can go the same road as them and not even noticing.

Submitted by strahinic.nikolina on Tue May 05 2020

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media personalities
sports icons
role models
admiration
influence
behavior
mindset
values
unethical behavior
healthy lifestyles
social media platforms
celebrity culture
career aspirations
educational goals
positive change
ethical standards
amplify
idolize
public perception
impressionable

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Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is better for college students to live on campus than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged others believe that children .Who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and and give your own opinion.?