IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say now there is less communication between the family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #members
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The relationship can be robust when we talk and share the story with each others.
However
Linking Words
, some people say that in
this
Linking Words
 modern-day, the conversation between the family members is less than before. In my opinion, I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea by many reasons, described in the following paragraphs. To commence, in these days, people usually spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on the smartphones
instead
Linking Words
 of talking to the people in the real life.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 attraction is one of the main factors that lead to the problem of lacking the
time
Use synonyms
 to communicate with our siblings and parents.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during the lunch or dinner, teenagers tend to send a message to their friends while being in front of the table, and
therefore
Linking Words
 leading to the problem that do not talk to their family members sufficiently because of its distraction from the device.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, video games on the computer nowadays is improved by its new high-technology. It follows that the people spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 on the games and do not care about others in the literal world.
In addition
Linking Words
, most of their concentration is being on the display not on the people around them.
Thus
Linking Words
, people do not get adequate
time
Use synonyms
 to manage their
time
Use synonyms
 for hanging out or sharing the story with everyone in the home. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that people tend to have communication with the family members less than in the past. From my point of view, in the essential
time
Use synonyms
 or the mealtime, people should leave those attractions, and spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with family more.
Submitted by NAT NATTANAN on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: