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The diagrams illustrate construction of West Park Secondary School in 1950 and modifications after that in 1980 and 2010. summarise the diagrams

The diagrams illustrate construction of West Park Secondary School in 1950 and modifications after that in 1980 and 2010. summarise the diagrams
#diagrams #construction #west #park #school #modifications #summarise
The bar chart illustrates
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten highest
electricity producing
Add a hyphen
electricity-producing
show examples
 and consuming countries in 2014.
Electricity
 magnitudes are shown as billion
kWh
. The countries are China,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil,
Germany
 and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of Korea.
Overall
, China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States were at the top of the list for both production and consumption,
while
 the rest of the countries fall very much behind these two. Another important data is that
Germany
 was the only
country
 that consumed more than it produced. China had a clear lead in terms of
electricity
 turnover with
production
Add an article
the production
a production
show examples
 of 5,398
kWh
 and consumption of 5,322.
US
Correct article usage
The US
show examples
 had
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
 place with production and consumption of 4,099
kWh
 and 3,966
kWh
 respectively.
Republic
Correct article usage
The Republic
show examples
 of Korea is at the bottom of
this
 list, producing as little as 485,1
kWh
while
 spending 449,5
kWh
 of
electricity
.
Germany
 is another
country
 worth noting because in
this
 particular
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 it consumed more than it produced, which left it with
net
Correct article usage
a net
show examples
electricity
 deficit of 55.9
kWh
. Rewrite:
Germany
 is another
country
 worth noting because it was the only
country
 with
net
Correct article usage
a net
show examples
electricity
 deficit of 55.9
kWh
 in
this
 particular year.
Submitted by rdr2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, kwh, germany, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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