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Band 4.5

some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #choices
in today's world, most people think we have too many
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
. technology and the internet have created many choices for us. I agree with
this
 point of view that it has more advantages than disadvantages.
to begin
 with, we have many
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
 to make the best decision for ourselves.
for example
, when we talk about shopping, there are many things to choose from that allow people to choose what is most satisfactory and suitable for their finances, from design, and price, to what suits their needs my hobbies. diversity gives individuals a sense of control, allowing them to make decisions that suit their unique needs.
On the other hand
, if there are too many
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 given, you may be confused and make the wrong decision, leading to regret for later choices. and best is not the only factor for success, so it is impossible that you have made the best school that makes you relax and not try
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it is only a very small part of your success Friend. or when you graduate from
high
Add an article
the high
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 academy, you will be able to choose to go to academy or work. If you choose to go to school, you will be able to choose your favourite academy, the facilities, and the quality of teaching in your favourite profession. Among the
Fix the agreement mistake
favorites
show examples
favorite
Add a comma
favorite,
show examples
 the prime may not be the best but it may be the best that suits you the most. In conclusion, whether your prime is positive or negative depends on many factors
such
 as personal preferences, efforts or opinions. But most of all, having more
finding
Fix the agreement mistake
findings
show examples
 is
also
 a great thing. if can Think carefully before making a superior .
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task achievement
Focus on clarifying your main points and ensure they are well-explained and supported with examples. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Introduce your viewpoints in a structured manner and make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively summarizing your main points and stance on the topic. This helps readers understand your perspective right from the beginning and reinforces it at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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