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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

#countries #people’s #weight #levels #health
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An increase in one’s
weight
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 is an indiscriminate problem faced worldwide.
However
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, in
this
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 modern age, many
people
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 are spending more time trying to reverse the effects of increasing weights in the hope to achieve a better lifestyle. One of the factors for the increase in
weight
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 is the consumption of higher levels of junk
food
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, as compared to more nutritious meals, and the definite lack of exercise.
Also
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, a point to be noted is the ability to get access to
food
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, without leaving your desk, as the majority of
food
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 outlets now provides home/office delivery.
For instance
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, in my
last
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 job, I used to work at least 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, and my lunch breaks were around half an hour. After following
this
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 lifestyle for a month, I had increased my
weight
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 by 10kgs and was having difficulties with constant head and body aches, as well as having problems with my eyes.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
people
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 are now spending long hours working, which lead to many health-related issues,
such
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 as stress, high blood pressure, for those who are working on computers all day, neck injuries, back spasms, eye dryness and many more.
Furthermore
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, the increased amount of pollution has
also
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 led to many respiratory ailments, amongst both young and old
people
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 alike. Some of the ways to solve the problems would be companies creating a working environment that forces the employee to move around the office. Simple things like, keeping the printer or copier
in
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is
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 a corner location so that if the employee needs to take a print/copy, he will need to walk to the printer or copier
Also
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 they can introduce standing desks which is helpful because, sitting for long hours is known to increase the risk of certain cancers, diabetes and heart disease Alternately rather than ordering
food
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 to your home/office,
people
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 can
instead
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 walk to their nearest
food
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 outlet for getting a meal, because
this
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 will not only get their body (blood) moving but it is
also
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 noted, that looking away from a computer screen at the sky or even greenery can be relaxing to the eyes. In many countries, emphasis is
also
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 given on allocating certain areas for parks and other recreational activities, as
this
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 is seen as essential to improve the health and quality of life of the
people
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. In conclusion,
weight
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 and lifestyle are directly related to one's level of health, and it is imperative for us to take firmer control on
this
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 if we want to lead a happier life.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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