In some counties, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other older people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

#counties #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care

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It is better for many elderly

people

Use synonyms

to go to retirement houses for the final ages of their life because they need nursing care.

Although

Linking Words

young members of

families

Use synonyms

should financially support the older ones, I believe that the

government

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is more responsible for funding these communities. On the one hand, the whole family have the task of assisting their

parents

Use synonyms

in all aspects. Indeed,

parents

Use synonyms

have made many efforts for growing their children. If these supportive

parents

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do not be capable of protecting themselves, their kids should compensate for their kindness, supporting them emotionally and financially.

Moreover

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, we

also

Linking Words

will become old one day and if today we do not aid our

parents

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properly, it is very probable that according to karma, we will see the result of

this

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misbehaviour from our children in the long run.

On the other hand

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, in my opinion, the

government

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is more responsible for supplying the welfare of old communities in comparison with

families

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Firstly

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, some

families

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cannot afford the high prices of old

people

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’s homes and pharmaceuticals. In

such

Linking Words

a situation, if states do not aid financially these groups, they would not be able to pay for the retirement houses’ caring, resulting in endangering their health.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the old

people

Use synonyms

presented many services to their countries in the past, promoting the development of societies.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the

government

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should award elderly

people

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through the final periods of their life.

Finally

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, when the

government

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financially support the old-aged

people

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, the quality of life will be improved since these

people

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have a wealth of experience. In conclusion, while

families

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should aid their

parents

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in every aspect, I am of the opinion that the

government

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has the main duty of funding the elderly

people

Use synonyms

in the retirement house.

Submitted by mahsa.mirzayi69 on Fri Nov 12 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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In some counties, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other older people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is better to stay with one company during a career. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

In their advertising, bussinesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?