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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
In recent times, the health care aspect is believed to develop and make contributions to the saving of millions of
people
 in the world, especially the aged,resulting in the rise of elderly
people
. For
this
 reason, I opine that the public should shoulder the responsibility of addressing
this
increase
 and law enforcement is the most important factor. There is no room for doubt that society should deal with the
increase
 in old
people
. It is true that their health is not as strong as the teenagers so they run a high risk of contracting a lot of dangerous diseases
such
 as heart attack and diabetes. If a large number of old patients come to the medical areas, hospitals may be overloaded and other critical patients are not paid attention to either, resulting in the rise in the mortality rate.
In addition
, many problems
such
 as overpopulation, air pollution, and unemployment occur when the population of the country is dense, having a negative effect not only on citizens' lives but
also
 the economy of the nation. The primary key that governmental bodies should take to manage the
increase
 in the number of elderly
people
 is that every household should be taught about family planning, which declares that 2 kids in a family are enough. The small number of children leads to a small
increase
 in elderly
people
.
For example
, the Chinese government has imposed
this
 law due to their burgeoning population and the outcome is so astonishing. In conclusion,
although
 the growing elderly population might cause a lot of pressure on our society, I believe
this
 problem can be solved
Submitted by ngoctranminh2411 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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