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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think we should stop buliding libary beacuse it waste of goverment's revenue. What extent do you agree?

#people #libary #beacuse #waste #goverment #revenue
There are debates that have been going on with regard to
library
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.
People
 said that
this
 will detrimental
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
governments’
Change noun form
government’s
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 income.
This
Correct determiner usage
The
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 following essay will share my thoughts on why I might agree with the statement. Many
people
 have said that
books
 are a window to the world. By reading
books
, individuals could enhance their knowledge and develop their skills,
therefore
 it is
essentials
Fix the agreement mistake
essential
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 to read
books
 for many
people
, specifically
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters.
To begin
, in the past years,
people
 were more likely to get
literatures
Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
show examples
 from the
library
 and read physical
books
 there and
also
 they were willing to walk and spend their time reading there.
Consequently
, they were unable to do other things whilst being in the
library
.
However
, we are currently living in a digitalization era, technology is getting more advanced these days. We are able to read
books
 on any platform
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our gadgets.
For instance
, there are tools that allow us to buy
books
 online. By reading online,
people
 tend to have much more time to do other tasks simultaneously.
For example
, workers could read online
literatures
Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
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 on a train
during
Change preposition
on
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 their way to the office or
a housewives
Correct the article-noun agreement
housewives
a housewife
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 could read
books
 whilst cleaning their house. By saying that, libraries are not much needed nowadays. In conclusion, in
a
Change the article
an
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 advanced technology era, building a physical
library
 should be controlled because it is not as needed as it used to
.
Add a missing verb
be.
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 Government should look after other things that
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to be developed
from
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in
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 the country,
such
 as helping families
with
Change preposition
in
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 poverty or
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a better education system.
Submitted by annisafitriyani on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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