Some people feel that sports is beneficial to the society. Others, however believe that it is nothing but a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #society #leisure #activity

It has always been argued that recreational activities are giving more advantages to the community,

whereas

opponents reckon that it is only for utilising their spare

time

. In my opinion, I favour the former view;

however

this

essay shall dwell upon both viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, why sports is beneficial for

people

This

is because it survives from

health

ailments. When individuals take part in physical activities

such

as Soccer, Cricket, volleyball and many more, they can save from major outcomes like obesity, back pain and weak eyesight

along

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

physical

health

but

also

mental.

Besides

this

people

are active in their lives. Nowadays, technology is proliferating regularly, so most commoners

love

Add the particle

tolove

show examples

spend their free

time

playing games and listening

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with

this

they have become lethargic, but if they indulge in outdoor games, they may become energetic and gain

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

strength level.

Due to

the above-mentioned, I favour the same.

On the other hand

, human beings might get injuries. To elaborate, some games hurt parts of

people

's bodies.

Consequently

, they may not work and face financial crises,

therefore

humans need to spend their leisure

time

with their family members or on their precious tasks with the assistance of

this

they could secure from injuries.

For instance

, a survey conducted by the World

Health

Organization revealed that in foreign countries the population prefer to spend most

time

in their work field with

this

they can save funds for their latter stage of life.

To conclude

although

people

can face a disability of any body part once they participate in sports activities, I personally claim that sports have more merits

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

saves from

health

ailments

as well as

humans alive in their daily life.

Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on Thu Sep 07 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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