IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments should spend time on railways rather than roads.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #time #railways #roads
Some people claim that governments should prioritize spending money on
railways
 rather than roads. I totally agree with
this
 viewpoint because
railways
 have some benefits for both
countries
 and their citizens.
To begin
 with,
railways
 may be very advantageous for
countries
. They can contribute to the development of the
countries
 in an economic way.
In other words
, the burden of building roads might be expensive, so the
railways
 may be an affordable alternative way for the governments.
Secondly
, it is crystal clear that
railways
 might play a huge role
in particular
 circumstances like wars. They might help the
countries
 by transporting substantial materials
such
 as weapons or nutrition.
For instance
, Turkey has managed to win World War I
due to
 its
railways
. They carried the most essential things for the soldiers and had a great impact on the country's destiny. Briefly,
railways
 might contribute to
countries
' economies and play a vital role in different situations.
In addition
,
railways
 might be beneficial for citizens.
This
 is because they are more economical rather than private cars which might be hard to afford for individuals. So people can travel wherever they want to go without thinking about their budget.
For example
, in India, it is only 50 cents to travel the whole country by train, which is a huge advantage for Indian people.
Overall
,
railways
 can be beneficial for citizens.
To conclude
, I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint and I am of the opinion that governments should invest in
railways
 rather than roads.
Submitted by edzcls on

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Task Achievement
Ensure there is a clear overarching thesis statement that outlines your main argument right at the beginning.
Task Achievement
Provide a mix of general statements and specific, detailed examples to support your main points. Consider including more varied and detailed examples from multiple contexts or countries.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to better guide the reader through your argument. Use a variety of cohesive devices.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion is strong, but try to summarize your main points more clearly to reinforce your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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