Some people believe that online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 40 mins

#people #materials #child #mins

In the modern era, a lot of controversies surround the issue of reading in children. It is believed

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apply

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some people that electronic devices are more appropriate for kids to read

while

others disagree and still follow the traditional ways like printed

books

This

essay will discuss both views and

at the end

, my opinion will emerge.

Firstly

, advocates of online reading tout its many advantages.

To begin

with, printed

books

have way far less harm

for

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show examples

the body. Research indicates that the blue light of smartphones can interfere with sleep and

also

impair vision. That means that printed

books

can give the readers more pleasure without being concerned about its consequences.

Additionally

, the feeling of touching the

paper

can enhance the understanding of the text as well. That feeling can stimulate the part of the brain related to happiness which can increase the efficiency of learning. In 2018,

for example

, scholars suggested that schools shouldn'

replace

paper

with smart screens because they can deteriorate brain function. On the other side, online libraries can expand the accessibility of all kinds of

books

and reduce environmental impacts. Some individuals live in remote areas and to buy a printed book they should travel a far distance.

In addition

, some

books

are printed in limited editions and the public can'

access them. Here is where play the role of a saviour. They can download them wherever they are and enjoy the acquisition of new knowledge.

Moreover

, a large quantity of forests are getting destroyed to produce

paper

from their trees.

Besides

that, during the process of

paper

production, a lot of emissions are released into the air which can worsen the climate crisis.

For instance

, researchers estimate that 2 per cent of Amazon rainforests are vanishing annually and

paper

production accounts for 1.2 per cent of it.

To conclude

, I don'

endorse E-

books

and I think they aren'

a good alternative to printed ones because of health issues they can cause. I hope in the future scientists find an appropriate and environmentally friendly substance to make

books

from and

then

, the earth will be happy too.

Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on Thu Feb 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Clarify your stance in the introduction : Your introduction suggests that you will discuss both views and then provide your opinion, but a clearer statement of your stance from the beginning can help with task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop paragraphs with a single idea : Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain coherence. The shift between discussing the benefits of printed materials and then immediately discussing the advantages of online materials can be a bit abrupt. Transition sentences could help here.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more varied sentence structures: Employ a variety of complex sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate language proficiency, which can improve coherence and overall score.

Task Achievement

Provide more balanced examples: While your essay discusses both sides, ensure that examples and evidence are balanced and equally detailed for both views. This will strengthen your argument and task achievement.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 40 mins

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?