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Writing Samples
Band 6

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment.

#people #form #entertainment
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These days, proponents are convinced that shopping is not an activity for enjoyment, opponents argue
otherwise
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.
However
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, I am of the belief that shopping is considered to be an entertainment because it allows socializing and stress relieving.
To begin
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 with, purchasing goods can be a great opportunity to connect with others and share opinions and ideas.
For instance
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, people who are from other countries can explore other cultures and histories by only walking around in malls or shopping centres.
Thus
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, it can be a useful avenue to exchange knowledge and perspectives.
Furthermore
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,
in addition
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 to the fact that shopping provides a sense of community, it is a stress mitigator.
For example
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, studies have shown that people who suffer from tension can relieve their feelings by embarking on retail therapy, where the act of searching, comparing, and making choices can be mentally stimulating and a welcome distraction from daily worries. In conclusion, retail outings can contribute in many ways to enhance our lives and make them more enjoyable. I am convinced that shopping has many advantages in terms of social and personal lives as it helps people to exchange culture and de-stress from life worries.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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Examples & Detail
Try to expand on your examples by offering more details or specific scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly.
Task Response Clarity
Enhance the clarity of your argument by directly addressing the prompt in the introduction and making your stance clearer.
Linking & Cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Structure
Your essay provides a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Understanding of Prompt
You've successfully addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the prompt.
Relevant Example
Good use of an example to support your point about shopping allowing for cultural exchange.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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