IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a common belief that bringing up
children
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 in the city is a good way, meanwhile, other people think that the
countryside
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 is a more suitable choice.
This
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 essay will analyze how beneficial the city is and what makes the
countryside
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 good for
children
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. I firmly believe that the
countryside
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 plays a crucial role in preventing
children
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 from social drawbacks.
This
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 is because there are more and more bad guys who abuse high-tech equipment to trick other people in the
cities
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,
therefore
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 the
children
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 can easily be cheated by these guys.
For instance
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, criminals can use fake messages in order to borrow money from these kids and never give back.
Additionally
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, living in the
countryside
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 gives
children
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 a peaceful and clean atmosphere which is not affected too much by noise pollution or air pollution from many types of vehicles like in the city.
This
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 is because most people in the
countryside
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 use bikes or go on foot and there are few vehicles on the road,
hence
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, it can help the
children
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 live in a safe place without noise and pollution.
Although
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 it is undeniable that living in the
countryside
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 has beneficial effects,
cities
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 give
children
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 a modern environment which gives
children
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 more chances to contact with technology and high-tech equipment.
Thus
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,
children
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 can easily create and tackle their work or products quickly.
For instance
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, they can make models or create robots easily through computers and electronic tools in their school.
Furthermore
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, living in the
cities
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 creates great job opportunities for
children
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 in the future. In the
cities
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, most of the schools have foreign teachers who teach and communicate with their students regularly, so
children
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 can interact more with other languages
as well as
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 other cultures,
this
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 will help them in the future to find a suitable job in a foreign company.
To sum up
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, living in the
countryside
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 creates
children
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 a safe and peaceful environment,
however
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,
cities
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also
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 give
children
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 more chances to contact modern facilities and foreign teachers.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints and your own opinion, providing a balanced analysis. To further enhance your essay, consider adding more varied sentence structures and linking phrases to improve flow and demonstrate advanced language skills.
task achievement
Your examples and arguments are relevant and support your points well. To elevate your essay further, aim to integrate more specific, real-world examples to substantiate your arguments, which will add depth and persuasiveness to your response.
logical structure
The essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your arguments.
complete response
You have done a good job in presenting a clear stance and discussing both views comprehensively, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • rural area
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • advanced medical facilities
  • peaceful
  • less pollution
  • access to nature
  • community feel
  • foster a sense of belonging
  • natural surroundings
  • outdoor activities
  • healthy lifestyle
  • cultural richness
  • wholesome upbringing
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