Topic: Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, there is a growing belief that wealthy

individuals

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have a unique opportunity to address societal challenges, particularly in the realm of unemployment. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree that affluent

individuals

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play a crucial role in providing opportunities for others.

To begin

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with, multinational corporations, which are often owned by wealthy

individuals

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, serve as major sources of employment for

individuals

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in need. Take,

for example

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, Jack Ma, the second richest person globally. Through his company, he has created numerous job opportunities for fresh graduates, allowing them to unleash their potential and earn a sustainable income to support themselves and their families.

As a result

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, financial independence empowers

individuals

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to elevate their living standards and actively participate in societal development initiatives.

Moreover

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, it is not solely through job creation that wealthy

individuals

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contribute to society; they

also

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engage in philanthropic

endeavors

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endeavours

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that benefit underprivileged

individuals

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. By supporting initiatives

such

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as providing scholarships for

education

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and constructing schools in rural areas, affluent

individuals

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enable impoverished children to access quality

education

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This

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, in turn, has a profound impact on society and the nation as a whole, as educated

individuals

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possess the capacity to address societal issues and contribute to national development, including economic growth and the advancement of

education

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for future generations. In conclusion, the significant contributions made by wealthy

individuals

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such

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as facilitating career advancement and promoting

education

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, highlight the pivotal role they play in unlocking a myriad of opportunities for others. I firmly advocate for the belief that affluent

individuals

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have the potential to positively impact society through their actions.

Date Wed Jul 24 2024

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task response

Ensure that your introduction clearly states the main thesis without ambiguity. A slightly more focused statement would enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

To further elevate your essay to the highest band, consider using varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument, providing a clear context and summarizing the main points.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples, such as Jack Ma, strengthens the argument and provides concrete support for your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic: Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger, while others say economic growth is damaging the environment and must stop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (Society)

In some countries, a lot of children have health issues and are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe raising children in the city is better, while others consider the countryside a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.

Some people have advocated for a decrease in the time that people spend watching television. Why do you think they hold this opinion? What can be done to reduce the time that people, especially children, spend in front of television screens?