It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

These days, the existence of large supermarkets and online
shops
is dominating, making it difficult for the smaller ones to keep up with them.
This
essay will examine
this
implication to local communities and measures to improve
this
issue. First of all, both developments of big supermarkets and online
shops
create huge disparities in society. Local small businesses are losing their attraction
as well as
customers, resulting in not being able to generate
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
to fulfil their daily expenses.
Moreover
, they have to establish a joint venture with a supermarket by renting a space by paying a huge amount of cost to the owner.
In addition
, a statistic in the UK depicts that renting businesses contribute 30% of all causes of disparity in a nation.
For
this
reason, it is crucial for government to take immediate action as a response. One of them is by providing spaces for local communities and promoting the area to society.
This
can be done by searching for a strategic location
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and transforming it into a mass shopping centre. After that, the government should promote
this
new place by inviting many local
shops
and stakeholders to work together.
For instance
, in Semarang city in Indonesia, there is a road called Pecinan which consists of many old buildings, and it
then
transformed into a whole new food centre
that is
famous for selling numerous traditional foods. In conclusion, the development of online
shops
and large supermarkets
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
significantly causing social disparities , especially with local
shops
, and the government should provide places for them and promote them.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that the reader can easily follow your argument by employing clear transitions.
Task Achievement
Provide more distinct and comprehensive ideas on how the government can help local shops thrive. Explore more solutions to provide a complete picture.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, tying together the main ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
You have given a relevant and specific example about Semarang city in Indonesia, which effectively supports your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
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