Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the reasons for this? How serious are the effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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At the present time, an increasing number of people are concerned about

childhood

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obesity

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. It is said that many countries in the world are facing a growing issue of

childhood

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obesity

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. The following essay will discuss both the

causes

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and effects of

this

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problem. It is obvious that there are several

causes

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that lead to

childhood

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obesity

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. The first root cause of

this

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phenomenon is that

children

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have unhealthy diets. To be more specific, nowadays, parents are too busy to prepare nutritious meals for

children

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, and they often allow their

children

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to eat fast food and drink a lot of carbonated soft drinks,

such

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as hamburgers, fried chicken, cokes, and so on.

Secondly

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, another important factor contributing to

this

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phenomenon is the lack of physical

activities

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activity

show examples

This

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due to

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the fact that with the growth of technology,

children

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tend to spend more time indoors.

For instance

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children

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often sit in front of screens to watch television or play video games

instead

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of playing sports outdoors. There are some effects that

this

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problem

causes

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Firstly

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this

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issue results in the fact that pediatric

obesity

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negatively affects the physical health of

children

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. Specifically, obese

children

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lack good nutrients and resistance, which leads to a decrease in their immune systems and puts them at risk of suffering from other diseases,

such

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as diabetes or high blood pressure. Another effect is that

children

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’s mental health is

also

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affected by

obesity

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For example

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, obese

children

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often feel more shy and lose confidence in crowded places.

Last

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but not least,

this

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issue may be a burden on nations’ healthcare systems.

To sum up

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, there are some obvious

causes

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and effects related to

childhood

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obesity

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. We should take effective steps to improve these modern-day issues.

thuynguyen091193Tue Apr 08 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction effectively introduces the topic and outlines what the essay will cover. However, it could be enriched by providing a more compelling hook or context about why this issue is particularly urgent right now.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that every point made in the body paragraphs is clearly linked back to the main topic. For instance, elaborating on how technology impacts physical activity could strengthen your argument and provide clearer connections between causes and effects.

Task Achievement

While you have good examples such as unhealthy diets and the impact of screen time, further specific examples or statistics could illustrate your points more vividly and enhance your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing good overall structure and flow.

Task Achievement

You have identified significant causes and effects of childhood obesity, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the reasons for this? How serious are the effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.What are your opinions on this?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?