IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children should be taught about higher education opportunities abroad while they are still in school. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's global world, studying abroad has become more popular .
However
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, many people argue that
children
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 should gain
knowledge
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 about higher
education
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 opportunities overseas in their schools. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement, as it helps
students
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 plan better for their future and prepares them for international challenges.
Firstly
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, giving
students
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knowledge
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 about universities in other countries allows them to explore more options. In some rural areas,
students
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 don't have any
knowledge
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 about scholarships, application processes, and overseas lifestyles. If school provides them with essential thoughts about these issues,
students
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 can choose appropriate subjects, improve their skills and make their visions clear.
For instance
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, if they have enough
knowledge
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 about higher
education
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, they can prepare themself earlier for the exam like IELTS.
In addition
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, the International lifestyle is completely different from the traditional one. If schools give proper guidance to
students
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 by arranging special events
such
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 as
education
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 fairs or foreign language classes, they can expand their abilities. Apart from that, some people think that teaching
children
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 about higher studies in school is a waste of time. But I think, knowing about foreign
education
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 does not harm local studies. It only gives
students
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 more choices and a bigger view of the world. In conclusion, knowing about foreign
education
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 can not bring any harmful effects to the
children
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's local
education
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. It not only expands their
knowledge
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 but
also
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 learn to be an independent person.
Therefore
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, it is more beneficial for
children
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 to build up their future careers.

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task achievement
Provide more clear examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
The essay covers the main points and presents a strong opinion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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