IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do

#cultures #technology
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Some people believe that technological developments lead to the loss of traditional cultures. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 assertion; while it may be true in the case of some societies, others seem to be unaffected by technology and the modern world. On the one hand, the advances in technology that have driven industrialisation in
developed
Suggestion
developing
 countries have certainly contributed to the disappearance of traditional ways of life.
For example
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, in pre-industrial Britain, generations of families grew up in the same small village communities. These communities had a strong sense of identity, due to their shared customs and beliefs.
However
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, developments in transport, communications and manufacturing led to the dispersal of families and village communities as people moved to the cities in search of work.
Nowadays most
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, most
 British villages are inhabited by commuters, many of whom do not know their closest neighbours.
On the other hand
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, in some parts of the world traditional cultures still thrive. There are tribes in the Amazon Rainforest,
for example
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, that have been completely untouched by the technological developments of the developed world. These tribal communities continue to hunt and gather food from the forest, and traditional skills are passed on to children by parents and elders. Other traditional cultures,
such
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 as farming communities in parts of Africa, are embracing communications technologies. Mobile phones give farmers access to information, from weather predictions to market prices, which helps them to prosper and
therefore
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 supports their culture. In conclusion, many traditional ways of life have been lost
as a result
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 of advances in technology, but other traditional communities have survived and even flourished.
Submitted by harmeet096 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • traditional cultures
  • technological development
  • modern society
  • incompatible
  • decline
  • traditional crafts
  • rituals
  • digital communication
  • preserve
  • promote
  • documentation
  • online archives
  • virtual museums
  • social media
  • coexist
  • integrates
  • digital storytelling
  • augmented reality
  • cultural tourism
  • perspective
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